Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
