i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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