Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
