That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
