wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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