Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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