In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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