i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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