I heard we made out
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Green mimosas i think yes
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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