and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
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I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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