I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
