Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
