East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
