i permit you to call me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
birth control should be required to get into college
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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