Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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