I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
