he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
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I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
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Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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