"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
