IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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