i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
