I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
