so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
