Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
