if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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