It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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