its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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