I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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