Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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