hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
we're making bets on your personal life
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him