i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
