On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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