That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
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You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
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Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
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