she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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