New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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