Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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