This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
