i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
