if only i could text you this smell
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
At least life still wants to fuck me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
