No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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