there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
