I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i came on her dog
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When did angry sex become our thing?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
