Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize