Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize