I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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