we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
