The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
