It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
