who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
