He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
