Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
