Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
