Whod you bang
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle