i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss