Cold hands, warm shart.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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