come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
