I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
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He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
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My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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