This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize